Engaged!

Here’s the executive summary for busy people:

March 11th, 2006: Kenneth proposed to Stephanie just before sunset on the Berkeley Marina.  He presented a special photo album of shared memories and a music box containing the ring as gifts for the occasion.  Kenneth and Stephanie proceeded to enjoy a lovely private dinner and dance on the 19th floor of the Pacific Park Plaza in Emeryville.

We are still deciding on a date for the wedding.  Right now, it seems most favorable to have the wedding in Winter 2006, but we will figure it out soon enough.  Here are more photos in the meantime: http://niftyken.stanford.edu/gallery/v/KennethSteph/proposal/

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Here’s the extended version, for folks who want all the details!  [No time to read? At least scroll down for the pics!]

I chose the Berkeley Marina as the ideal place to propose because it bears so much significance for Stephanie and myself.  Over a year ago, when we were still trying to decide whether it would be good to seriously date each other, Steph felt the strongest sense of God’s peace about the decision when she came to reflect about it and pray by herself at the Marina.  As she stared out at the sky and ocean meeting at the horizon, she felt confirmation that the two of us were better together than apart, and soon after that, we made our dating relationship official.  One month later, we were out at the Marina again together to celebrate our “monthiversary.”  And in the past month or so, we have returned to the Marina every weekend to enjoy the view, reflect about life, spend time reading books for fun, and pray together for God’s leading in our lives.  Not only did I love these times for their own sake, but making time at the Marina a regular habit was a perfect setup for the proposal I had already started to plan.

About two weeks ago, I asked Steph if we could try to take some photos at the Marina during the sunset.  Last week it was cloudy and wet, so of course we had to try again this week.  I also felt that, if it was at all feasible, I would propose.  But I needed a plan.  My housemate Brian helped me out a LOT to make this happen.  Thanks, Brian!  The basic plan was that I was going to bring Steph to the Marina, as was our routine, while Brian would arrive separately around 5 PM, disguised as a hobo, to shoo other people away from our favorite bench and set up the spot with roses and drinks for the special occasion at sunset.   (Steph and I weren’t going to be already sitting on the bench yet until it came time to “take photos at sunset,” since it has been often too cold to sit outside at the Marina for long.)  Then Brian was going to hide in the bushes and take pictures with my camera when I proposed.  Simple, right?

Well, this is what actually happened that day:

Steph and I arrived at the Berkeley Marina a little before 3 PM.  The skies were pretty blue, but it was still windy and cold outside, so it was a perfect day to stay in the car and just read for hours before the sunset.  Normally, I love getting time to do stuff like this, but on Saturday it was a distracting and agonizing two hours for me as I waited for Brian to arrive, and as I prayed that the fair weather will hold up for just a little longer…

5 PM eventually rolled around, and I found myself obsessively checking out the windshield in hopes of seeing Brian (as an inconspicuous hobo), and to see if the sun was planning to set any time soon.  5:05 rolled around… then 5:10… then 5:15… My mind was racing.  “Okay, what am I going to do if Brian doesn’t show up?”  Well, he had the nice extras — the roses, the drinks, the control of the camera — but I had the essentials, like the ring and the little book I made for Steph.  But, still!  I found myself compulsively text messaging Brian.  “Are you okay? Do not see you!”  So, preparing for the worst, I was determined carry on with the plan, whether or not Brian showed up by 5:30 PM.

Then Brian the Hobo showed up.  Phew!  I tried hard not to stare at him to give away the surprise to Steph.  After about a minute, the hobo got up to leave.  The funny thing is that he didn’t just leave the bench like a normal person.  No, he had to stand up for a few seconds, stare out at the ocean, then sidestep a few feet before stopping again to enjoy the scenery, before taking a couple more sidesteps.  To me, it was painfully obvious that this was one of the most suspicious hoboes ever.  I was pretty concerned that Steph would totally see right through Brian’s disguise.  Luckily, Steph and I were talking together in the car (I had asked how I could pray for her today) and I did my best to maintain eye contact with her.  At last, the hobo escaped from the scene and I could make the next move.

Being extremely suave, I abruptly said to Steph, “Hey, you know, I’m actually kind of distracted right now because I really wanted to sit outside today for the sunset, and the bench is free right now, so I thought maybe we could sit out there right now.  Can we sit on the bench and talk more?”  Of course, that was extremely suspicious, but Steph was willing to play along.

But as soon as I got out of the car and looked at the bench, I realized I had a problem.  Brian had left a giant blue cooler (probably with goodies inside) at the bench, along with 2 blankets!  How was I supposed to explain their presence to Steph and why I still wanted to sit there?  Well, I did my best.  “Hmm, looks like somebody left all their stuff here. But let’s just sit here anyway, Steph!”  She replied by gesturing toward a bench a couple of yards away, asking, “Should we just sit there?”  But I replied, “Uh, no no!  I like this bench!  I’m sure that this person will come back and get their stuff when they need it!  Yeah!”  Somehow, my insistence seemed to convince her that this bench would be okay.  Phew!

But before we actually sat down, Steph suddenly said, “Hey Kenneth, I really need to go to the bathroom!”  Without further ado, she bolted away for the bathroom as I yelled, “Come back soon so we don’t miss the sunset!!”  No more than 15 seconds later, I saw Brian the Hobo running toward me with a look of concern.  “What happened?!” he asked, bewildered over the runaway Steph.  I told him it wasn’t what it looked like, and that she was in fact coming back after using the bathroom.

And then Brian told me the unimaginable: He had forgotten to bring my camera!  This was in fact the reason he was late, as he tore through his car in the parking lot, looking for the missing item.  He had even gotten so desperate that he started asking random people parked at the Marina if he could borrow their camera.  But who’s going to lend a camera to a hobo?  But of course, I had the foresight (or plain paranoia) to carry a second digital camera, so I grabbed that from the trunk of my Toyota Prius and handed it off to him before Steph returned.  Man, could anything else go awry today?  (Read further to find out!)  I thought only Steph was supposed to get surprised today!

At last, Steph returned, and we took a seat on our favorite bench.  Here’s the shot of the bench from Brian’s vantage point in the bushes.  You can see the bright blue cooler in this picture too.  You can barely tell, but we’re actually using a purple sleeping bag from the car as a cover from the chilly wind:

As the sun descended ever lower, we had a lull in the conversation, and so it was time to move forward.  I told Steph that I had made her something and that I needed to get it from the car.  I came back with a little photo album of shared memories that I had put together for her.  Each photo was accompanied by a caption that was designed to make her laugh.  The book was called “A Blue Day Book for Stephanie”, in the style of the original Blue Day Book.  I think Steph started crying after the first three pages or so.  Well, she was laughing and crying at the same time.  So I think they were happy tears, which means the book had its intended effect.  I’m glad, because I’m sure it’s no fun to propose to somebody who is in a bad mood:

The funny thing is that Steph later revealed to me that as I was reading her the book, the thought crossed her mind that, “Sigh, if he’s giving this special book to me now, what’s he going to give me when he proposes?”  Well, I’m glad that somehow things remained mostly a surprise to her.  Anyway, the last few pages of the book started to rapidly change in tone, and started talking about how I wouldn’t be the same without her, and the last page’s photo (from our time at the Berkeley Rose Garden) presented a perfect lead-in to the next phase:

Of course, this would’ve been a perfect time for rain to start coming down or something, but God was gracious.  Without any further hitches, I was able to get on one knee, tell Steph that I loved her and wanted to grow old with her, and to ask her if she would marry me.  I also got to bring out and crank up the ring box I had made for her, which also served as a music box that played this little tune as I kneeled.  (No, of course that wasn’t manipulative, hehe.)  If you can tell, the ring is seated nearly sideways in the ring box because the bottom of the ring box is occupied by the musical mechanism that I managed to cram in there.  This presentation of the ring with musical accompaniment went much better than earlier in the day.  Around noon of the same day, I had decided to show my mom the music box before I gave it away forever.  But when I cranked the spring and opened the box, nothing happened.  Narrowly escaping a heart attack, I decided to try it again, and again, nothing happened when I opened the box.  I was so frantic by that time that I started shaking the ring box to try to make it work, and I watched in horror as the ring flew out of the box and landed on the floor.  As my mom put wisely, “Please do not do that again.”  Anyway, I still don’t know why it got stuck, or why it started working again a few minutes later.  All I know is that it worked when it counted, and that too is the grace of God:

She said Yes!  Some girls start bawling at about this point, but Steph was more concerned that she look look pretty for the photos, so there were few tears and lots of smiles from this point onward.  Now that this part of the surprise was over, I waved Brian over to help us take some close-ups as we reenacted some of the scene.  (You may have noticed evidence of this already.)  Steph didn’t recognize him at first, which is really a compliment about Brian’s convincing hobo disguise.  Anyway, it was time to break out the roses and Martinelli’s to celebrate!

With the ring safely on her finger, and with Brian in control of the camera, I could finally relax and watch the last of the sunset with Steph.  It was beautiful.  Those clouds seemed to hang over us all afternoon, but thank God it never did rain while we were there!

We couldn’t figure out how to hold hands properly while showing off the ring!  Here’s one of our best attempts.  In case you care, the ring has a tapered outer edge (sometimes called a knife edge), and two pear-shaped diamond sidestones.  There’s a whole story about the fun, fun ring-shopping experience, which I will have to put up here some other time.

So, are we done?  No, of course not!  =]  Well, Brian said congratulations and then left us to ourselves, but we have to do dinner, don’t we?  So apparently one of the ways that I initially threw off Steph’s suspicion that something special was going to happen today was that I kept telling her we were going to have dinner with my brother Vincent, who lives about a block away from Steph.  Anyway, now that we just got engaged, she knew that we were probably headed somewhere else.  But where?  It was a surprise.  But first she wanted to get changed into something nicer.  For about a month now, I have been hiding one of her cute outfits in my car for just such an occasion.  Don’t want your fiancée to look scrubby on the night of her engagement?  Make sure you pack away one of her nice outfits.  =]

Anyway, we headed out again, to a yet undisclosed place.  She knew from my GPS unit that we were headed to Emeryville, so I asked her if she knew any nice restaurants in the area.  She said she didn’t, and asked jokingly whether we were going to eat at Borders, since we study at that Emeryville bookstore whenever it’s exam time for her.  I reassured her that we were headed somewhere with much better reviews.  Before long, we turned a corner and Steph actually recognized the building that came into view, which happens to be the tallest building in Emeryville.  “Hey, this is Jen’s apartment,” she informed me.  Yup, it sure was!  I turned into the parking lot as Steph realized that her good friend Jen was in fact an accomplice in the plan also.  Isn’t this fun?

I’d actually never been to Jen’s apartment in Pacific Park Plaza before, but after Steph spent a sleepover there once, she had raved about how beautiful the view was from Jen’s 19th floor bay view windows.  She had joked about how Jen should think about renting out the apartment to couples for a romantic dinner.  Well, I ended up storing up that little recommendation in my mind, and Jen and I were able to work something out so that I could have a nice private dinner in the tallest restaurant in Emeryville!  =]

When we approached the apartment door, it magically opened up into a rather dimly lit room.  Steph immediately noticed the trail of rose petals leading deeper into the apartment.  But she wanted to say hi to Jen behind the door first.  Except, it wasn’t Jen!  It was Brian again!  Man, I owe this guy big time!

Brian pretty much went all out, setting up candles and flowers and our favorite songs playing in the background.

Everything I had decided for the menu was also ready for us to enjoy!  Going way beyond my expectations, Brian served us the various courses with flair: crab and artichoke dip with focaccia bread from Skates on the Bay, New England clam chowder, toasty slices of French bread, Maryland jumbo crab cakes (extra crispy for Steph!), and chicken and turkey pot pie.  And of course, more Martinelli’s sparkling apple cider.  This man just keeps it coming!  Thanks, Brian!!

Brian, give it a rest and take a photo with us!  (Meanwhile, he was telling me to put the camera down and go talk with my fiancée.)

Brian finally finished with all the food preparations.  Wow!  Again, I am totally indebted to him for his generosity of time and service.  We were totally stuffed from all the food for dinner.  For dessert, we had mint chocolate chip ice cream and doubly-chocolate-dipped strawberries (an inner layer of white chocolate, with a dark chocolate outer layer).  Brian had a little fun with the white chocolate, using it to spell out “K + S” on the strawberries, among other things.

We finished off the evening at Jen’s with a little dancing in our private ballroom.  Our favorites include Natalie Cole’s “When I Fall in Love” and Dana Glover’s “It is You (I Have Loved)”.

Dear reader, you are really something if you are still reading this.  To spare you, I’ll just skip the parts of the evening about the freakish cat in the apartment that never budged when we stared at him, and how we ended up accidentally going over the Bay Bridge to San Francisco on our way back to Berkeley, which was a nice reminder of one of the first trips we ever took as a couple.  Oops, I guess I just told you.  Anyway, that’s pretty much everything!  Congratulations for getting to the end of this update!  For us, it’s just the very beginning of the next chapter!