[Whoa! Another super-long Xanga entry! I thought I told myself I wasn’t going to do that anymore, since a lot of people never comment on (er, read) these things.]
I attended some child development classes this week. I suspect that *everyone* else there was actually a parent, but that’s okay, the courses were really fun! Out of the workshop about 2-5 year olds, 5-12 year olds, and adolescents, I think I got the most out of the 2-5 year old workshop. I think it’s the first time I’ve been shown how to understand what a child’s brain can and cannot be expected to do in early childhood. Some of the things are probably really obvious, but I don’t think I ever really thought about it (except when, say, the toddlers at church don’t listen to me and I am bewildered).
Some of my notes on aspects of the 2-5 year old brain that have implications for behavior and discipline:
Neural Networks: Every thing a child does lays down neural pathways in his/her brain. This is the part of the brain that makes a kid want to do things repetitively and find patterns. In early childhood, children learn best about good behavior and how to distinguish right from wrong primarily by being conditioned. Repeated (and hopefully appropriate) behavior will feel “right and normal” and therefore the easiest to choose and follow. Doing is knowing. Verbal explanations alone are not effective. Even simple patterns of actions should be demonstrated physically the first time so the child can follow. Once a neural pathway is triggered, it’s virtually impossible for a 2-5 year old to get off of it without intervention. If a child gets yelled at each time s/he pulls the dog’s tail, the child will learn to anticipate your behavior which makes them crave to see the “pattern” play itself out just as they predicted it would, even when they know they will get yelled at. They may even wait until you’re in the room before pulling the dog’s tail. The pattern recognition is empowering to them, though perhaps in a negative way.
Reptilian Brain: This primal and egocentric part of the brain accounts for reflexes and the self protecting, flight or fight, instincts. It is the part that does not allow the child to listen to or look at you, or pay attention to directions or reprimands. Don’t expect 2-5 year olds to “just know” how to control themselves. If you insist on fighting against this impulsive aspect of the brain, the child may become very competent at ignoring your words and mentally blocking you out (the pattern). It can be much more effective to first calm them or soothe them before scolding or trying to teach them a lesson. This may be counterintuitive in that in feels like you’re spoiling the child, but remember that the point of discipline is to teach something meaningful, which cannot be done effectively when the child is trying hard to block you out. To keep the reptilian brain from raising up its defenses, use “I” messages instead of “you you you,” use a gentle touch (cheek) with firm words, a say you’re sad instead of mad. Try holding the child at the waist, not at the hands or arms, if you need to break them out of a behavior.
Cerebellum: This part of the brain is physically oriented, controls balance and agility, and is stimulated by motion. It craves and is soothed by rocking and swinging. It’s hard for a 2-5 year old to hold focus on the present subject if s/he is tipped upside down, swung, or rocked. So try tipping, swinging, or rocking a child when s/he is stuck in a negative pattern or out of sorts! (I always wondered why little kids love this so much, while I doubt most adults enjoy people randomly picking them up and tossing them in the air…)
Prefrontal Cortex: This is the part of the brain that learns to reason, plan ahead, make judgments, exert self control, and focus on multiple things. It does not fully mature until about age 7. 2-5 year olds usually have a fixated attention, and it’s hard to think about more than one big thing at a time. The brain at this stage has little ability for forethought or planning ahead. Impulses override ability for good consistent short term memory. If you want to attract the child’s attention and set the child up for success in listening to you, you should bring the subject matter into close visual range of child or whisper in their ear (which requires them to devote more of their attention to try to listen to you). Tell them what to do, not what not to do, since they tend to only latch onto the the tangible nouns in a sentence (“Blah blah dog blah blah blah tail!”). Time-outs work better with something to hold, as it helps the child calm down and focus on something in front of them instead of something intangible (i.e. “3 minutes”). Tactile occupations are also great for taking a child’s attention off of an undesired behavior: try cups and water in the sink, sand boxes and shovels, wide strips of velcro, cotton balls, Elmer’s Glue and food coloring in sealed ziplock baggies.
I don’t really know weird this weird fact fits in: The sound of our voice tends to excite a child’s nervous system, which stimulates their limbs to keep moving. Ever had a 2-5 year old grab your hair? Screaming and yelling will often result in the child hanging on and pulling more vigorously!
Okay, that’s enough for now. This is all perhaps only new for me. Hopefully I won’t be as bewildered at church when the toddlers are running around! =P
Well, whether you actually bothered reading this or you just skipped to the bottom, here’s a crazy video that shows something about child conditioning! Yikes, I hardly know what to think about the video at http://robpongi.com/pages/comboMOKINHI.html . Kang says this is apparently not all that crazy in North Korea…